On the Sally Brampton page of this week’s Observer, a young woman had written in to say how traumatised she felt after fostering a baby and toddler sibling group. She had fallen in love with the babies and decided to try to adopt. She was told, however that due to the natural parents making plans to ‘take’ their children back, the authorities had decided to let another couple out of the area adopt them. This lady was distraught because all contact with these babies has now been cut after she was led to believe that she could have lifelong contact with them.
You know, things like this sometimes happen, for all kinds of reasons. It doesn’t stop the hurt though, no matter how right the decision is. A very similar thing happened to our family, and two years down the line it is still raw for all of us. We still get teary when it’s the little boy’s birthday and we all pray that he is happy. Luckily, we have a fantastic link worker who updates us now and again, and for this we are thankful.
I sometimes believe that as a foster carer, you have to have a heart of gold, but also the ability to withstand a lot of painful feelings. It’s one of the toughest parts of this job, in my opinion, letting go.